This is a messy garbage movie and I’m always happy to stick my face in it. Mmmm, throwback body horror.

One time Kevin Smith got super stoned, read a fake personal ad, and pitched a walrus horror movie. With some really good leads. And effects. And only like, 20 minutes that are completely unwatchable. Round these parts we’re a sucker for quality body horror.

This film raises some very important questions, like: does Kevin Smith qualify for auteur theory? when did Shawn learn to do a pretty good Dr. Doofenshmirtz impression? Why is Johnny Depp still getting work?

CONTENT WARNING for discussion of sexual assault and bestiality.

Inspiration to Script

The Giant Fucking Spider Story

2:00 Production History
12:30 The Ghost of Shock Jock Future
17:00 Let’s Get Our Auteur Theory On
29:00 Howard Howe, Personalized Serial Killing
35:00 The Love Interest One
39:00 Comedy Grimdark Pasts
41:00 The Movie Dies (Because Depp Stabbed it to Death)
47:00 Walrus Crime
52:00 Tears of a Manrus
59:00 True North Trilogy
61:00 Should You Watch This

Say hi to Dorothy and Vrai on Twitter @writervrai and @dorothynotgale

Join us every two weeks on Soundcloud, iTunes or Stitcher – and if you’d leave a rating and review, so that more people can find their way to us, we’d appreciate it!

This post is made possible by kind contributors to this blog’s Patreon. If you like what you’ve read, please consider donating to help keep it running.