This is a messy garbage movie and I’m always happy to stick my face in it. Mmmm, throwback body horror.
One time Kevin Smith got super stoned, read a fake personal ad, and pitched a walrus horror movie. With some really good leads. And effects. And only like, 20 minutes that are completely unwatchable. Round these parts we’re a sucker for quality body horror.
This film raises some very important questions, like: does Kevin Smith qualify for auteur theory? when did Shawn learn to do a pretty good Dr. Doofenshmirtz impression? Why is Johnny Depp still getting work?
CONTENT WARNING for discussion of sexual assault and bestiality.
The Giant Fucking Spider Story
2:00 Production History
12:30 The Ghost of Shock Jock Future
17:00 Let’s Get Our Auteur Theory On
29:00 Howard Howe, Personalized Serial Killing
35:00 The Love Interest One
39:00 Comedy Grimdark Pasts
41:00 The Movie Dies (Because Depp Stabbed it to Death)
47:00 Walrus Crime
52:00 Tears of a Manrus
59:00 True North Trilogy
61:00 Should You Watch This
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